August 2011
1 post
10 tags
Aug 30th
32 notes
July 2011
3 posts
11 tags
Jul 26th
12 notes
7 tags
Jul 6th
4 notes
8 tags
Jul 5th
10 notes
April 2011
6 posts
15 tags
Apr 2nd
6 notes
13 tags
Apr 2nd
3 notes
9 tags
Apr 1st
1 note
4 tags
Apr 1st
5 tags
Apr 1st
11 tags
Apr 1st
4 notes
March 2011
1 post
12 tags
Mar 4th
4 notes
January 2011
1 post
11 tags
Jan 25th
December 2010
5 posts
10 tags
Dec 26th
12 tags
Dec 18th
2 notes
11 tags
Dec 16th
9 tags
Dec 13th
11 notes
8 tags
Dec 5th
7 notes
November 2010
10 posts
6 tags
Nov 20th
6 tags
Nov 15th
6 tags
Nov 14th
473 notes
9 tags
Nov 14th
9 tags
John Cusack Rocket Punches Squish Mittens
Chris: Hey, Puddin' Pops, I changed my Xbox Live Name to "Chowboxer" if you were panicking over my absence on your list.
Me: I was! Thanks for telling me. You hiding from the Po-po?
Chris: Nope, just had "Captain Molov" for seven years and it was feeling kinda stale and lame.
Me: And you couldn't think of anything cooler? I would've made it "JohnCusack" if I were you. Own it, baby!
Chris: Lol. I almost made it "JohnnyC" just for you, no joke. I think "Chowboxer" is awesome. I LOVE TO EAT PUSSY!
Me: Pfft, Cusack eats plenty of pussy. I'm disappointed.
**A FEW HOURS LATER**
Me: Change your live username yet?
Chris: Hahaha, shut up. I'm keeping "Chowboxer."
Me: Loser.
Chris: I love it and you fucking had better love it too or I'm going to rocket punch your squish mitten.
Me: *Guards squish mitten* I HATE IT! TRY IT, JUST TRY IT!
Chris: WWWHHHOOOSSHHHH FALCOOOWNNN PAUUUUNCHHHH *Breaks your fingers into bone shards and wears your elbow deep like a fucking puppet*
Me: Yeah right *Rolls eyes* No one can rocket-punch like that, doucher.
Chris: Oh my God, Hayley. Do not make me fucking ring the school bell and tell you about the years I spent at the Mukazashi Rocket Punching Dojo.
Me: I just peed a little.
Chris: LOL!
Me: I can't breathe.
Chris: Yeah you fucking did. YOU PEED AND YOU'RE HYPERVENTILATING WITH FEAR! MY KNUCKLES CAN SMELL YOUR FEAR, HAYLEY, AND IT SMELLS LIKE ROCKET FUEL!
Me: Haha, no. It's at the severe level of hilarious, delusional-stupidity.
Nov 12th
7 tags
Nov 11th
1 note
7 tags
Nov 6th
11 tags
Nov 4th
2 notes
11 tags
Nov 2nd
1 note
9 tags
Nov 1st
49 notes
October 2010
29 posts
10 tags
Oct 31st
5 notes
10 tags
Oct 31st
1 note
10 tags
“I don’t have a drinking problem, except when I can’t get a drink.”
– Tom Waits, from music’s Bad Liver and a Broken Heart
Oct 30th
5 tags
Oct 27th
1 note
7 tags
Oct 26th
3 notes
10 tags
Oct 25th
1 note
13 tags
“Is that Sprite? Oh, it’s Coke? Coke and sweet tea vodka? What the Hell,...”
– Jake McArdle, from my life’s Fourth Annual Halloween Party
Oct 24th
2 notes
5 tags
Oct 18th
5 notes
15 tags
Night World No.1: Secret Vampire; Daughters of...
I admit it: I feel a bit ashamed of certain things that I gravitate towards. Vampires being one of those things. There’s just something about them. To live forever; to always be painstakingly beautiful; to see all of that history; to be cursed with a hunger that makes you a danger to everyone you know and love. I just can’t help my fascination. Facing the facts of my minor obsession...
Oct 17th
10 tags
Oct 15th
9 tags
Oct 14th
1 note
6 tags
Oct 13th
2 notes
10 tags
Oct 11th
12 notes
7 tags
Oct 11th
7 tags
Oct 11th
3 notes
7 tags
Ding Dung Achievement
Adam: I just got an achievement with you, Hayley.
Me: What are you talking about?
Adam: ...
Me: Did you just take a shit while on the phone with me?
Adam: Yeah! Mwahah.
Me: You are an ass. I'm hanging up now.
Oct 11th
6 tags
Oct 10th
2 notes
4 tags
Oct 9th
2 notes
10 tags
Oct 8th
4 tags
Oct 8th
13 tags
Oct 8th
1 note
5 tags
Oct 7th
2 notes
5 tags
Oct 6th
2 notes